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Sunday, June 9, 2013

Atlanta's Best Hamburger: A Tournament of 16

Warning:  The following may be inappropriate for children under the age of 13 and those with "questionable" cholesterol

Is the Burger the most “American” of food?  As we approach July 4th and we see what folks are consuming, I would have to say yes, the Burger is at the very least, on the Mount Rushmore of American Food.  The others I believe are up to subjective interpretation. More on that in the footnotes.  

The Burger is so truly American, I'm surprised John Cougar Mellencamp (or whatever he calls himself these days) hasn't done some sort of a hamburger song duet with Taylor Swift in front of a Chevy in a cornfield in Nebraska.  Wearing all denim and leather of course.  Complete with a Clint Eastwood introduction (pre empty chair Clint of course).
"Here's a little ditty, about Mayonnaise and Lettuce, two great toppings doin' the best they can.  Bacon's going to be a culinary star, but they're going to get burger juice all over Jackie's car."  Okay, I"ll stop
The Burger is so versatile, it can be served from the finest restaurants in America to the McDonalds Value Meal for just $.99 and it also inspired some of the famous characters of my youth. 
"Behold, the brilliance of marketing to children"
After heavy deliberations and many trips to different venues amongst our esteemed Hamburger Panel, we have come up with Four Divisions with Four Venues each.  Enjoy.
"You may not know it, but Buddy I'm a kind of Poet."

The Sinatra Division, upscale and cool restaurants all serve hamburgers.  Some much better than others.  I mean Sinatra wrote a classic song about drinking and driving.  Who else could get away with that?  And he's smoking a cigarette while he's singing it?  Today he would be evicerated, not celebrated.  Here are the Blue Eye selections:
Holeman and Finch
7 Lamps
King + Duke

Here's a view of the famous Holeman and Finch Burgers being prepped.
"Unfortunately, I didn't make the cut this night, but we got to watch them in action."

"Unfortunately, no caption needed"
The David Hasselhoff/ Botox Division, because it's not what's on the inside that counts, it's how you look, er kind of.  Here are the DHB selections:
Yeah! Burger

"Grass fed my ass"
The Hippie Cow Division, because we aren't vegetarians, but we demand our cows to be.  Here is who made it:
Miller Union
Farm Burger
General Muir
"Rusty, great burgers don't find you, you have to find the great burger.  Now where the hell is Grandma?"
The Clark W. Griswold Division, you may have to travel a little, but it's worth the trip.  So gas up the car and hit the road and try these selections:
Moxie Burger
Anne's Snack Bar
Muss & Turners
Highland Tap

Here is the Moxie Burger offering.
It was as good as it looks
And alas!  The Burger Bracket!

As we move along in the tournament, we will delve into these selections much deeper.  So a big thank you to our burger panel and a big thank you to Dan who helped with the bracket.

So sit back and over the next month or so enjoy our offerings.

Today's Footnote:
What would be on the "Mount Rushmore" of American Food outside of the burger?  The Hot Dog?  You cannot throw the French Fry on there. Our country is so diverse with regional cuisine's, it is pretty difficult to nail down.  

How about the Lobster?  I have had it in other countries, but nothing compares to a real Maine Lobster.  Is Maine our only state that is so closely related to an animal?  I guess it is better than being associated with just Steven King.  Oh and it's a gorgeous coastal state.

What about beverages?  Coke obviously.

Budweiser?  Jack Daniels?

So the Mount Rushmore consists of Ray Kroc, John Pemberton, Adolph Busch and Jack Daniels (and possibly a lobster)?  I'm not too sure I'm comfortable or proud of our Mount Rushmore, but it is what it is and maybe only John Rocker would be happy about this.

Maybe the theme of the USA's culinary legacy is choice.  You have Maine, New York, New Orleans, Memphis, San Francisco and Seattle.  The sum of our culinary diversity is much greater than the parts.  And with that I'm done.

Oh wait, I found a pretty funny website about this douchebag.  Enjoy
"If Lebron wants to win back his Cleveland fans, he could start by punching this twerp."

1 comment:

  1. Flip, Yeah! Burger and Farm Burger should be executed. Along with Bieber.